The core of high EI is self-awareness: if you don't understand your own motivations and behaviors, it's nearly impossible to develop an understanding of others.

Self-awareness is the ability to accurately recognize one’s emotions and thoughts, and their influence on behavior.  This ability includes accurately assessing one’s strengths and limitations and possessing a well-grounded sense of confidence and optimism.

Sample questions that a self-aware person may ask include:

• What are my thoughts and feelings?
• What causes those thoughts and feelings?
• How can I respectfully express my thoughts and feelings?